OI!
jeannie - new
ask_theharkni
 Presents. NOW.

Extra because YOU'RE ALL LATE WITH GETTING ME PRESENTS (and the boys too, but MOSTLY ME!!!!)!!!!!

I KNOW THERE ARE ALARMS GOING OFF AND ALL THAT...
ivan - new
ask_theharkni
SORRY TO YELL, BUT THEY ARE SOOOO LOUD!OMG - DO NOT BE ALARMED! MUCH.Collapse )
PS - HAS ANYONE HEARD FROM SHADOW LATELY? I MISS HER!

Someone Special's B'day!
hank and patti - true love
ask_theharkni
And no, Ian, it's not you, so get your face away from the cake!

Patti, I know today is your special day, so - in honor of that, I want to say Happy Birthday to the most beautiful Princess I have had the honor of ever meeting. I don't really have anything planned other than treating you like the Princess that you are today.

No one is to make her do anything she doesn't want or they will be answering to me. That means she doesn't have to eat her veggies or take her feet off your desk. And she can wear her best tiara all day if she wants. It's the life of a Princess for her today, folks.

So, hop to! Patti deserves it on her 24th birthday!

Um.
evan - new
ask_theharkni
So, there I was, cleaning and minding my own business and when I got to Kitti's desk, I must have accidentally pushed the little button to make her impressive screen come on and then there was this picture and I didn't mean to pry or anything, but I got all confused and then, before I even realized what I was doing, I had taken a screen shot and sent it to the server and I didn't mean to look at it really hard to read the fine print or anything because that would be like an invasion of privacy of some sort and I know that we aren't allowed to do that type of thing and I don't want to disappoint Deb so I thought I would just pass this along in the interest of me not trying to hide anything from anyone...oops. I smell burning!

what i saw but didn't mean to seeCollapse )

*sniff* Important Announcement *sniff*
evan - new
ask_theharkni
Right. So, Maggie is gone, but Patti got me a new friend. You can still pay your respects to Maggie in the main kitchen at the table I have set up. Please don't disturb the flowers.

But that's not it. What I need to announce is:

Cut for importance.Collapse )
That is all.


EVERYONE NEEDS TO TELL DOMINO SHE LOOKS GREAT
jeannie - new
ask_theharkni
I MEAN IT. I GOT HER ALL NICED UP AND I JUST SAW HER CARRYING HER SHOES AROUND. SOMEONE TELL HER THAT SHE LOOKS NICE SO SHE WILL PUT THE DAMN THINGS BACK ON.

AND, NO, I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT HER NEEDING TO BE ABLE TO RUN - SHE HAS GOT TO LEARN TO RUN IN HEELS TO BE AN EFFECTIVE AGENT. I KNOW DIAZ AND I CAN. How hot does Diaz look runing in heels?

SO HOP TO IT.

OH! Good work on recruiting people to help you Talllah. Very much like I would have! GOLD STARS!

RIGHT.
ian - new
ask_theharkni
Hank, I was not looking at your girl, so I don't appreciate that you put what appears to be a dehydrated squirrel in my blanket fort. That was really childish and scared the shit out of me besides. Don't be an asshole.

Reanne, I don't give a flying donut about how you feel about me - that is over anyway - the childish stomping off is just too much for me. Enjoy your newest conquest - as long as it isn't Evan. That boy is skittish enough as it is without you making him moreso.

Patti, you have a body worth ogling, forgive me for doing so. But don't think I won't ogle again - I have not yet begin to ogle, to be honest.

Anyone else?

Oh yeah, Simon. You might as well know right now that there are 8 other men here much better looking than you. Sorry, man. Truth hurts.

Deb? Nice outfit today. And is that a new perfume?

Shut up, Shane. I heard you snicker.

I'M NUMBER ONE BITCHES AND OKAY MAYBE YOU LOT ARE TOO BUT I'M THE AWESOME ONE SO SHUT UP!
jeannie - new
ask_theharkni
OKAY LISTEN UP YOU LAZY SODS! THIS IS JEANNIE TALKING SO PAY ATTENTION.

One year ago today eight other THINGS and GORGEOUS ME were brought into the world with a little help from Patti and MY CROWBAR!
AND SINCE WE'RE ALL IN NEW ZEALAND AND SHIT WE TOTALLY GET TO MAKE THE BIRTHDAY LAST TWO DAYS SO I NEED A WHOLE EXTRA DAY TO GET ALL THE SETUP DONE AND BECAUSE I'M AWESOME AND MAGNANIMOUS LIKE THAT YOU ALL GET TO HELP!

NOW CHECK OUT THE AWESOME CAKE I- IAN!!Collapse )

LET'S SETTLE THIS LIKE GENTLEMEN.
jonas - is alive!
ask_theharkni
HANK! Get your ass up here and claim your woman! No, wait. I have a better idea. How about a duel? Like with 20 paces and all that?

I think that's fair. Winner gets the Princess. What do you say?

LET ME BE VERY CLEAR ON THIS MATTER.
jeannie - new
ask_theharkni
THERE IS GOING TO FUCKING BE A WEDDING IF I HAVE TO MARRY THE FLOOR TO THE CEILING. GOT THAT?!?!

READ THIS OR I WILL HIT YOU WITH A CROWBAR.Collapse )

?

Log in